The people I met in the U.S.-2

Dr.Catherine Dunn

When I applied to the Catholic University for my Ph.D, I was interviewed on the phone by Dr.Dunn.She did all the paper work and sent me the final admission letter to the Ph.D.program.She also gave me assistantship.I was very happy when I got the admission letter.I was excited about the project of living in Washington D.C. and also of the opportunity to pursue my studies at the Catholic University , one of the prestigious graduate schools in the country.

By the time I joined the University,Dr.Dunn retired from her post as the Chairperson of the Dept. but I had a chance to meet her a few times while I was there.

When I passed my Ph.d. exam , she sent me a book with a note congratulating me.

Dr.Joe Sendry

When I started my classes at the Catholic University, it was Dr.Sendry who was the Chairman.I remember the happy day when he met me as I came out of the library telling me that I was awarded a fellowship.That meant, I was given a higher assistantship along with my duty of teaching two courses at the University.It was a big boost to my morale.The fellowship continued unto the end of my studies at the University.It gave me a lot of financial freedom as by that time I was also given a monthly remuneration for my work at St.Matthew's Cathedral.

Dr.Sendy did his Ph.D. at Harvard University. He once mentioned the he had attended a course given by I.A.Richards, one of the great critics of English Literature.

Dr.Sendry taught Victorian Literature and I had taken a few courses given by him. He was also the chairman of my thesis committee.He was helpful to me in many ways while I was a student there.

When St.Matthew's Cathedral arranged a farewell dinner party as I was leaving D.C. for India, I invited him for the party and he was gracious enough to accept it.He once gave me a book with his congratulatory note and told me how happy and proud he was directing my dissertation.

Every Christmas , I used to receive his greetings along with all the updates about his life at the University and we have kept in touch with each other all these years.

The familiesI met in the U.S.-1

The Secrests,Terre Haute,Indiana

There was one family at Terre Haute , Indiana who was a member of the parish of St.Anne's ,1440 Locust street,Terre haute, Indiana.They had 6 children at that time and they would all come for the masses.Two of the boys ,Michael and Ray, were very friendly with me.The family was always present for the daily masses, and the mother, Marie Secrest would read at the masses.They would invite me often to their houses for meals.I would walk over to their house from the church.Some times, I would play games with them.

I remember one day going with them to cut down a Christmas tree from a big nursery where they had a large number of Christmas trees.We cut down a very big tree but we could not drag it to the truck. Then, we cut down a smaller one and carried it to the church.

Another time, they invited me to go for water skiing with them on a summer day.They came to the university and picked me up.I put on the skiis on my feet and the boat sped along.I plunged into the water and was kept afloat because of the life belt.

I also did go with them for berry picking one day early in the morning at 4a.m.This family , thus gave me an inkling into some of the American ways of life.

The People I met in the U.S.-1

Dr.Misenheimer

Dr.Misenheimer was the Head of the Dept. of English,Indiana State University.He had more than 60 professors in the Dept.It was one of the largest Depts. of English that I had seen. He invited us to his house on different occasions and I had a very good relationship with him.He in fact urged me to remain in Indiana to watch the beauty of the Fall season.He was gracious enough to grant me assistantship and because of that I was able to teach two courses in English while taking my graduate courses.I was also enjoying the privileges of the faculty as I had my own room in the Dept.

I still remember seeing his large library at home where he received and entertained us.

Dr.Weixelmann

I worked with Dr.Weixelman in different ways.He was the Editor of the Black American Literature forum and I was appointed the Assistant Editor to work with him.I did some of the editorial work for the magazine with him.I also took independent reading lessons in Hemingway with him.His room is opposite to mine and hence we got more time to work together.Just I left the Indiana State University for Washington D.C., he also left the University for the University of North Carolina.He is now the Dean of Graduate studies at St.Louis University.

His wife, Sherry, too helped me in many ways.

Christian Moore

I have to be deeply grateful to Fr.Christian Moore.He is one of the great and generous priests that I have met in my life. I am sorry to note that he left priesthood.He was the chaplain of the Campus Ministry at the Indiana State University.He was the one who arranged for my admission and stay at the Indiana State University.I worked with the Campus Ministry as a Campus Minister and it gave me a lot of opportunities to work with the University students.There were Sundays when I said both the masses at the University.One of he students would come to St.Anne;s church,Terre Haute and would pick me up for the masses and drop me later after the masses.

Fr.Moore was there always to help me whenever I needed some help.He helped me also when I needed someone to pick Fr.Patrick who came to interview me for a post at the Campus ministry,Catholic University of America.

While working at the Campus Ministry at I.S.U., I also went to say mass at Rose Hulman institute of Technology.I had an interesting experience one day when I wen t to say the mass.The student who came to pick me up for the mass had the key of the hall where the mass was to be said. But as he reached the place, he searched his pocket and found that the key was not with him.He felt very embarrassed as the students were waiting outside to enter the hall.What I saw then was an unbelievable act from a student. He was on his knees and he prayed to God to help him.As he stood up and looked around, he saw the key of the hall lying in front of him.

I can never forget all the help Fr.Christian gave me.In a way , it was his help that opened the door of the University education in the United States for me.For, from the Indiana State, I could move to the Catholic University,Washington D.C. for my Ph.D.

Reflections

Now, that I am retired from my ministry here, I am wondering whether these long years of my ministry were beneficial to any one.There is nothing tangible out there for me to see whether my life was effective.

For more than 40 years I have ministered as a priest.Was it a waste of time or life?Was I faithful to my vocation? What does that faithfulness mean?

People often speak of priests as alter Christus. How often did I live like alter Christus?I have not found much meaning in these expressions.They are good for developing a theology of priesthood.But how many priests in their personal lives are Christ-like to those who live with them or interact with them?

We are all weak , fragile human beings, carrying with us our own little prejudices, ambitions, arrogance or selfishness. Very rarely do we find among ourselves people who can exemplify in their lives the qualities of a Christ-centered life.

We are all wounded healers, to use a famous phrase of Henri Nouwen. When we do the works of healing, we are quite aware that we too need healings in our lives. We are wounded healers and hence it is presumptuous to expect perfection in our lives.

I have often held in my heart the belief that what characterizes us as priests is our love and compassion.Without these qualities, it would be impossible for us to reflect Christ.Our administrative skills, our eloquence or our personal accomplishments are just a mask and do not mean much unless we have love and sensitivity in our lives.

Many a time, I think, we are hollow men, to use a phrase of T.S.Eliot.The shadow falls between us and the reality.We are not reflecting Christ.

Looking at my life , I often see these shadows.I often wonder whether my life was worthwhile.Have I done anything good? Outwardly, I may have worked for Christ through my works in different fields. But many are the times when those good actions of mine have been submerged in the dungeons of selfishness.

Where is the kernel of my spiritual life? Have I done something good in my life?It is so difficult to evaluate my priestly life. I see only warts and spots in my life.

It is in these moments of deep inner troubles that I am comforted by the words of Thomas Merton and Fulton J.Sheen.

Merton says in one of his prayers: " I am seen by you under the sky, and my offenses have been forgotten by you--but I have not forgotten them. Only one thing I ask; that the memory of them should not make me afraid to receive into my heart the gift of love--which you have placed in me....remembering that I have been a sinner, I will love you in spite of what I have been, knowing that my love is precious because it is yours,rather than my own."(Thoughts in Solitude)

Bishop Sheen has the following to say about his life which is applicable to the lives of all priests: "I now am not afraid to appear before Him.And this is not because I am worthy, nor because I have loved Him with deep intensity but because He has loved me.That is why we are lovable. When the Lord puts His love into us,then we become lovable."(Treasure in Clay).

At this fag end of my life, I have to prepare myself well for my final journey.

God is giving me time to show those qualities of love and compassion more thoroughly.There is no need of thinking about what could have been done.Whatever that was done was done.It is our intention that matters.

Another thing that I have to bear in mind is that I am what I am.Our Lord does not want us to be what we are not.With all our warts and defects, we are called to reflect him.

As our Holy Father, Pope the Benedict XVI has expressed beautifully well in his book,"God and the World", we do not have to be afraid of God because He is our Father.He knows who we are , our sins and weaknesses.

That means we don't have to feel dejected or frustrated.We can be happy and joyful.As Therese of Lisieux says, in her autobiography, even the small flowers are created by God and they have their own beauty just like roses and lilies.

"I understand how all the flowers He has created are beautiful, how the splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not take away the perfume of the little violet or the delightful simplicity of the daisy."

I do feel often that my responsibilities are over and that I don't have to accomplish much in my life.Even physically, there is not much I can do. My walking has become slower and my physical energy is waning.Even though, I don't feel it, I can see it coming.So, I have to prepare myself for the coming days of slowness and a less prominent public life.

What Malcolm Muggeridge has spoken about the evening of his life is true of any one reaching that stage in one's life: "So like a prisoner awaiting his release,like a school boy when the end of the term is near, like a migrant bird ready to fly south... I long to be gone."

Vicar General

Vicar General

It was in one early morning that I got a phone call from Antony Planthara telling me that a new diocese was created for the Syro-Malabar Catholics and that Fr.Jacob Angadiath was appointed the first Bishop.I called Fr.Angadiath a few hours later and offered my congratulations.He had just returned from the Archdiocese of Chicago after being officially intimated of his appointment.

In July 2001, I went to Chicago for the Syro-Malabar Catholic convention as well as for the Consecration.

Fr.Vayalil and Fr.Thomas Puthiyadom joined me while in Chicago for the Convention and we stayed in a private house .

After a few weeks, I was told by Fr.Antony Kurilacherry before his departure for India that I would get a call from Chicago and that I should accept the offer. Later. when Abp.Powathil came to Washington D.C. to stay with me for a couple of days, he told me that I would be asked to be the Vicar General and that I should accept the offer.

It was a tough time of decision for me.I felt very comfortable in my life in Washington D.C. I enjoyed my pastoral ministry there. I had also very good friends. I also knew that it would not be easy working with Malaylees as there would also be groups and cliques among them. I did not like to spend any more of my days in a place that has a severe winter weather. I was very restless that night reflecting on the suggestion of the Archbishop.In the end, I decided to accept the offer. Later, when Bp.Mar Angadiath called me to find out whether I would be willing to accept the offer, I gave my consent. Once more, I had to decide on change and move.

It was at one of the clergy meetings in Chicago that the Bishop made the announcement of the appointment of the Vicars General. He did not want me to move to Chicago, then.

But when the Bishop fell ill and when he was not able to carry on his duties properly, he wanted me to move to Chicago.

Hence, I decided to move to Chicago in the last week of August after celebrating my birthday at St.Patrick’s.

There was a great farewell party at the church. Many people invited me out for dinners and wrote very appreciative letters.

One of the memorable things was my meeting with Mr.Bill Conway,the MD of the Carlyle Corporation.He met me after one of the morning masses and when he learned that I was leaving for Chicago, he gave his business card and told me to contact him at any time when I felt any need for assistance in my pastoral ministry.He sent me later very generous contributions to help the diocese on different occasions.He helped the diocese when I organized the first youth Conference at Mundeline Seminary, Chicago .Also the diocese was helped to establish communication instruments when we moved to our Cicero office.

I have to remember specially the great and generous help from Abraham Kallrakal (Ittyrachan) and George Kallarakal (Vakachan) who offered to drive me to Chicago from Washington D.C. with all my books and belongings.I am deply thankful to them for their great sacrifice and love. Because of their help, my move to Chicago became much easier.

Moving to Bellwood from Washington D.C. was going to some rural place in India.

It is a small town , with no activities etc.The church had a small room for me to stay.But somehow I did not feel any difficulty in living there even though it was a strange place to live.There would be a lot of noise on weekends from the people who used to rent the adjacent hall for weekend parties.

It was a small group that came for the morning masses and not the kind of people going for work that I used to meet at St.Patrick's in Washington D.C. I really missed the congregation of Washington D.C.they were mostly professionals and working in important firms and offices in Washington D.C.always , there would be new people for the masses.

The people of Bellwood church were not aware of the development of the diocese and hence,they were complaining that the diocese was not active.I called a meeting of the people after one Sunday mass and explained to them about the establishment of parishes and missions in different parts of the country.

I did also encourage the starting of a Diocesan monthly called,The Syro-Malabar News which has become defunct now.

The first trip we made together as a curia was to the Orange County when a new but a small church was purchased and consecrated for the community there.Parishes were established in Houston, Philadelphia and Florida

I had to go to Florida a few times for negotiations with the Archbishop of Miami for the transfer of the church they bought for the Indian community for the use of the Syro-Malabar Catholics in Florida.

Within the last ten years, more than 20 parishes were established and I am glad that I was there to support the initiatives from many of these parishes in their growth and development.

It was also possible to hold a National Conference of college-going youths at the Mundeline Seminary in 2004.It was held because of the requests of many of the parents to have something done for the youths.Many parents and well-wishers supported the Conference and it was a youth team under Jensen,Manoj,Sunil and Sindhu that took up the responsibility of running the Conference.I twas attended by youth representatives of the major regions and parishes of the diocese.

Reflections

When I look back after so many years of ministry in the priesthood, I am thankful to the Lord for all the graces given to me in my life.

The only aim in my life was to make known the name of Jesus and make people aware of the immensity of His love.It is for that I became a priest and I have remained faithful to that call in my life.My Lord is everything in my life.I have used all the opportunities and ministerial position I got in my life to spread the love of Jesus.In my life at the college, I was very careful not to do anything that would distract people from that love that Jesus taught us to have in our lives.

At the beginning of my seminary life I made a promise never to use at any time in my life any derogatory words about others . I was always watchful about my words and comments when interacting with people who opposed my views and policies.

I would tell myself and others what would we gain if we create situations for others to fall away from the love of Christ.

When I was the Principal of the college, even when I had to take very drastic actions, I took maximum care through my words to parents and students to make them realize that there was no hatred or hostility in my actions and words.

My intention was to create the best atmosphere in the college, intellectually and professionally.I was happy to encourage all kinds of activities that would enhance the lives of the students as well as of the staff.

What we need in our life is respect and consideration for others. Our Christian faith should make us more reverential and sensitive.Instead of that, very often find the dominance of arrogance and dominance in our life under the guise of spirituality.

I strongly believed in a greater role of the laity in the Church. As my father was a bank professional and one of the people who got a University education which was very rare in his time, I was brought up under the shadow of a greater awareness of the power and capabilities of the laity.Also, as all of my life time was spent with University teachers, I was always respectful of the talents of the laity.I firmly believe that we should do all that is possible to make our lay faithful emerge as partners in our ministry .

In my ministry among the Syro-Malabr Catholics , I have always given a lot of emphasis to the role of the laity.This is a country, where the laity can play a greater role in the fields of evangelization and witnessing. The mindsets of priests and people have to undergo a sea change. The lay people still hang on to the coattails of the clergy for leadership , instead of chalking out a way for themselves as responsible Catholics who have the capability and faith to witness to Christ in their professions.

Some of us , priests, still cling to very narrow interpretations of the laws of the church and make as many difficulties as possible for the laity when they ask for some flexibility and adjustments.We carry with us some of the traditional mindsets that we have acquired in Kerala.

There should be more flexibility and willingness to adapt to the changes we see around us, without forgetting the importance that is to be given to the fostering of the faith in Christ among our people.If we make the practice of faith a burden for our people, then, they would be reluctant to belong to our community.Our intention is to spread the faith and make people the followers of our Lord.

The establishment of the Diocese is a wonderful opportunity for us to use the resources of the country to make our ministry of evangelization more effective.Instead of bringing every antiquated tradition of our mother land, we should strive to help our people to establish strong roots of faith in this country in a stable manner.

The Syro-Malabar Catholics should also get involved in the Catholic issues of this country as responsible and mature Catholics.Most of our people , instead of developing their personal initiatives, still want to depend on the clergy for a role in the pubic forum.Many of them are satisfied with the minimum and they are satisfied with the roles they get as CCD teachers or as altar servers.

This country offers a lot of opportunities to the laity for their further education in the faith. Those who have leadership skills should become prepared to be public spokespersons of the faith.

We have a lot of people who have proved themselves to be very successful in their professional fields.When it comes to matters of faith, they become silent witnesses and do not take upon themselves the responsibility of articulating their faith in the public was well as living it.

Many of the priests who work in the diocese are also reluctant to use their spare time for improving their knowledge of the faith.They still continue here their way of life in India and do not improve themselves professionally , making use of the resources available here.With books and educational tools available at their door step, they can do much to improve their educational advancement.

We do have to establish very good links with our neighboring parishes and dioceses and become partners with them in the spread of the faith.

Our young people who are in colleges should be encouraged to approach their faith in a mature way.With the minimum of the religious knowledge they have acquired in the CCD classes , they won't be able to confront the skepticism and questioning attitudes they face in their very liberally-oriented class rooms.They have to become familiar with the works of intellectuals who are good practitioners of the faith.

More importance should be given to the time constraints of the liturgical celebrations. The priests should show much more awareness in the preparation of their sermons and the sermons should be delivered with great effectiveness and zest.

Taking into account of the culture in which we live, we have to show more flexibility and understanding in dealing with one another.

It is often forgotten that our children are growing up in a new land and that they are citizens of the US and not of India.The traditions and rituals imported from India have no meaning for our young people here.

The Diocese should have a vision for the future with regard to making the faith more relevant and meaningful to the people.

Small disputes and squabbles among our people suck up a lot of energy from the community.Sometimes the attitudes and disputes would make us wonder whether we are Christians.

The authorities should also be in the forefront in the expression of sensitivity and compassion.Opposing points of view should not be treated as inimical.It is necessary for pastors and those who hold positions of authority to be more pro-active.They should take into account with due seriousness points of view that are not in consonance with theirs.

Priestly Spirituality

,Saturday, July 24, 2010

Diocesan Spirituality-A Reflection

The following is a reflection on the Priestly Year

Holy Father Pope Benedict XV1 proclaimed on Friday 19, June 2009, the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus , in celebration of the 150^th birth anniversary of St. John Mary Vianney ,2009-10 as the Year of Priests to highlight the meaning and the importance of Priesthood. Declaring the celebration, he said: “ I think of all those priests who quietly present Christ’s words and actions each day to the faithful and to the whole world, striving to be one with the Lord in their thoughts and labors.” Without any note of triumphalism, the Holy Father pointed out the greatness and awesomeness of the priestly gift, acknowledging at the same time that this gift is given to weak and fragile human beings.

Because of the various scandals associated with a few priests in the U.S. and Europe, there was a widespread diminution of the image of the priesthood in the secular media. All the good that was accomplished by the sacrificial lives of thousands of priests all across the world was misrepresented. The consolation and comfort offered by the clergy to millions of people in their spiritual struggles have been very callously ignored. Who can give a satisfactory account of the millions of hours the priests have spent in consoling and comforting the bereaved, in offering spiritual support to the millions who have come to the confessionals, in administering the sacraments, in offering the Eucharist from day-break to sunset in all the continents of the world, and in engaging in the development of the rural areas of the world?

Hence it is right and fitting that a year should be chosen to highlight the spiritual magnificence of the Catholic priesthood. The late Holy Father in his Apostolic exhortation, Pastores Da Vobis has pointed out:

“ Priests are called to prolong the presence of Christ, the one high priest, embodying his way of life and making him visible in the midst of the flock entrusted to their care….Priests exist and act in order to proclaim the Gospel and to build up the Church in the name and person of Christ , the head and the shepherd.”

Cataclysmic changes have taken place in the world of Catholic priesthood in the US. According to a research study of modern Catholic priesthood in the U.S., done by Dean Hoge, published under the title “Evolving Vision of Priesthood”, the number of priests and vocations to the priesthood has come sharply down. “In 2001 there were 30,223 diocesan priests and 14,968 religious priests…..for a total of 45,191.This compares with 57,317 in 1985, or a decline of about 12% to 14% per decade.” The study adds further: “This number has been thinning down through the years in the U.S….The number of Catholics in the U.S. has risen continually over the past century. In 1970, the estimated number was 47 million and in 2000, it was about 61 million.” A similar change was happening at the educational level of Catholics. According to this study, “in the mid 1920s , about 6% of all American Catholics had college degrees, and in 1980, it was 28%.”.What is shown by this study is that as the religious landscape in the U.S. is changing, a lot more stresses, burdens and expectations fall on the shoulders of the clergy. The study also points out the shifting of the emphasis in ecclesiology. “The essence of the priesthood has undergone two shifts. The first occurred at the time of Vatican ll---from the older model of priest as administrator of the sacraments and teacher of the faith, to a new model of priest as a spiritual and social leader of the community. This change was accompanied by the Council’s new theology of the Church as the “People of God.” The young priests in 1970 were strongly in favor of this model. The second shift which began in the early 1980s, continues today and seems to be reversing the first.”

The changing understanding of ecclesiology also causes great tension in the lives of the priests. The old and the young have different visions and different approaches to their ministry.

Of course all these changes at the sociological and at the ecclesiological levels will not affect the essential function of the priests in their role as prophets, teachers and shepherds. The burden is much greater now as the present world, with its instant forms of communication and great technological advancements, puts great stress on the lives of priests. As communicators, administrators and as shepherd they have to remold their ministries to conform to these changing demands of the age.

It is only when one’s life is deeply anchored in the life of Our Lord that one can withstand the shifting sands of tastes and aptitudes of the faithful and hold aloft the torch of faith. Priests have to re-commit themselves to preaching the Word in the best way possible and to administering the sacraments in the most spiritual way possible. The words of the Holy Father should resound in the ears of all priests: “Lest we experience existential emptiness and the effectiveness of our ministry may be compromised, we need to ask ourselves ever anew: are we truly pervaded by the word of God? Is that word truly the nourishment we live by, even more than bread and the things of this world? Do we really know that word? Do we love it.?”

The late Holy Father John Paul II has called his memoir of his priestly life “A Gift and a Mystery.” It is a gift because priesthood transcends the merits of the individual and it is a mystery because the call comes from God at a time and place unknown to the individual: “ You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you(John 15:16).Of course, every priest is aware of his unworthiness for such a call and knows that the ministry entrusted to him is beyond his qualifications. Who can say he is worthy enough to stand in the place of Christ and pronounce over the bread and wine that “This is my body and this is my blood.”? Who has the holiness to stand in the person of Christ to forgive the sins of others? As the late Holy Father John Paul II points out, “At its deepest level, every vocation to the priesthood is a great mystery; it is a gift which infinitely transcends the individual.”

Hence,what are the special tasks of priests? Is there a special spirituality for him as a diocesan priest? As one who works in the world, constantly interacting with people, preaching, offering the Eucharist, administering the sacraments, and running institutions and organizations on behalf of the Church, how can he be a living witness to Christ? Should he get away from the world to develop his spirituality? No, it is not in getting away that the diocesan priest finds his spiritual self but in immersing himself in the lives of his people. In celebrating the sacraments, offering the Eucharist, preaching the Word of God, and running the institutions of the Church, he grows closer to Christ. In all the things he does, he sees the presence of Christ. “Holiness is not something a priest can practice by himself or apart from the community of faith. The priest becomes holy within the community by ministering to it and leading it” (The Spirituality of the Diocesan Priest, Donald B.Cozzens,p.2).

The priest unlocks the doors of holiness when he is working in close collaboration with the laity. He is the one who brings Christ to them in all the different spheres of their activity. As the Holy Father Pope Benedict XV1 points out in the Proclamation: “Priests should be willing to listen to lay people, give brotherly consideration to their wishes, and acknowledge their experience and competence in the different fields of human activity.”

Cardinal Kasper in his book “Leadership in the Church” deals with the role of priests as leaders of the community. Referring to the distinction between “production “and “representation”, he points out that for priests what is more important is representation and not production. “ There is nothing for us to make…all we can do is to offer ourselves for the purpose of representation.” The center-stage is not for priests. They must be hearers and doers of the Word. “Priestly existence”, he points out,” is existence as a witness and as a sign, not only with our lips, but with the whole of our existence.” These words of the Cardinal do explain the essence of priestly ministry which is to be a sign for Christ .

The priests know deep in their hearts that the Lord who chose them will always be with them.His walk towards Emmaus continues with them at every breaking of the bread for the people. They would hear, day after day: “ I came not to call the righteous but the sinners.”

May this Year of Priests give all of us a renewed understanding of the gift of the sacrament of the priesthood.

70th Birth Day

Saturday, July 24, 2010

70th Birthday

What I can remember

When I look back over the past years of my life in this 70^th year , I have only feelings of gratitude to my Lord who has led me so peacefully and beautifully through the various phases of my life in joy and peace. I am very happy that I could spend my whole life for Jesus. I have no regrets. Although I worked full time in teaching, I am glad that there was never any moment in my life that I had lost sight of the Person to whom I dedicated my life. It was my passionate attachment to Him that helped me to meet all the hurdles and challenges in my life.

What a joy it was to spend my time in studies and teaching! I had such good friends in my life as teachers and colleagues. I had a great galaxy of teachers and friends on my side as I walked through the different walks of life. The only words that come to my mind at this time are: “Thank you Lord, Thank you Lord, I am not worthy of the blessings you have showered upon me.”

I am not a pious person in the traditional sense nor did I behave like one in my life. I like to associate with people with who read and who have ideas to share. I feel happy in their company. I like to read a lot and share thoughts with people of that nature. It was difficult at times to meet people of such mind-sets. I never found myself happy in the company of people who gossip and indulge in derisive comments about others. In fact one of the promises I made to myself while I joined the seminary was never to use any abusive or contemptuous word to comment on others. I am glad that I kept that promise until now even though I had to deal with several people who were real trouble makers.

But I enjoyed my time with people who are poor and dispossessed.. The mess servants, the menial workers at the college, and the daily wage earners who worked on the campus were my good friends. I am happy that I could be of help to them at different times in their lives.

I have enjoyed my time with my students whose lives in some way I have been fortunate to mould. I wanted them to grow up and develop as the best ones in the country. Now I realize that the time I spent for my students were worth the effort when I see them occupying very important positions in different parts of the country. Often, when I was the warden of the hostels of the college, I thought to myself why I was wasting my time for them as it always involved a lot of stress and tension. Most of the days, my time was spent in enforcing the discipline and dealing with those who violated the rules of the hostel. But it all turned out for the good from what I had seen in the lives of the students. I saw that my efforts had borne fruit from the positive reactions and responses from the former students. On one Christmas day, I received a card from one of my former students who is now working as a doctor thanking me for the care and consideration I had given him while he was a student at the hostel and making me aware that my sympathetic dealings with him has made him a better doctor.

The teachers of S. B. College were some of my closest friends in my life. They were very gracious and inspiring in their dealings with me. Whenever I get time during my vacation, I made it a point to meet with them. The teachers of the English Department from Prof. K.T..Seabstian on wards were persons of great benevolence and goodness. I have no words to describe the joy that I get when I spend time with them. I could regain the happiness of the former times whenever I was with them.

I was also fortunate to get very good teachers at the Catholic University, Washington D.C. Also the priests at St. Matthew’s Cathedral, and at St.Patrick’s church in Washington D.C. were great friends and sources of inspiration and encouragement. Recently some of those great priests of the Archdiocese of Washington passed away. I feel very sad at their demise as they were very close to me and always would be at my disposal whenever I needed their help. Msgr. Farina of St.Patrick’s Church, Msgr. Bernard Gerhardt and Msgr. Louis Quinn are some of those priests whom I can never forget. The years I spent with them were the greatest years of priestly joy and serenity. I have found in their company a lot of encouragement and support.

I can also never forget the some of the former principals of the college who were very good to me. Fr.P.C. Mathew and Rev.Dr.Anotny Kurialchery are some of the great Principals I hold in great esteem.

Archbishop Kavukatt who admitted me to the seminary with great words of encouragement and who later ordained me and sent me for higher studies is a person whose memeory will always be cherished in the depths of my heart. It was he who sent me to the college for teaching and even suggested the subject I should select for my Master’s degree. Abp. Antony Padiyara who sent me for higher studies in the US. and Abp. Joseph Powathil who appointed me the Principal of the college and who appointed me to various leadership roles are the archbishops I can never forget in my life .I am also deeply grateful to Fr.Joseph Karimpalil, the Vicar General who put great confidence in me when decided to appoint me as the Vice Principal at a very critical time of the development of the college. It gave me a wonderful opportunity to work along with Fr. Maroor who was a great friend of mine for starting new ventures for the college .It was that daring and strong move on the part of Fr.Karimpalil that made my career burst forth in full bloom in the academic world.

I have so many people to mention in my life who were kind and gracious to me. I know it is not possible to mention all of them.

But let me mention a few priests, teachers and friends. If I have left any, it is not because I love them less but because of the shortness of space.

Fr.Joseph Valiaveetil, Fr.Joseph Olassa, Fr.Seabstian Cherussery, Fr. Joseph Ithiparampil, Fr.Joseph Thaiparampil, Fr..Thevary, Fr.Geregory Karikampally,Fr.James Valiaparmapil, Fr.Mathew Mepreth , Fr.Joseph Alummootil are some of the priests who have left us for their eternal reward but who are remembered with great love in my heart.

Some of the teachers who are alive are Sr.Espirit,Fr.M.C. joseph S.J. Prof.K.T.Sebastian, Prof.K.K.Matthew,Prof.P.J.Devasia, Prof.K.V.Joseph.Prof.P.C.James.Prof.A.J.Francis,Dr.Joseph Sendry etc.are rememebered with great gratitude.

I know it has been sometimes difficult to live with priests in a community as some have different traits and attitudes. But I was happy in our college community. In many years of my life at the college, I lived in a community of more than 14 priests and the time I spent with them from the moment I joined the college as a young priest were happy and enjoyable. One touching moment in my life was when I received a tape from the college a few months after my arrival in the U.S. for higher studies in 1976 where all the priests right from Rev. Dr.Antony Kurialacherry giving their advice and fond recollections of my time at the college. That tape left tears in my eyes.

Now I live with a few priests at the Bishop’s residence of Syro-Malabar Diocese of Chicago. Bishop Jacob Angadiath who never knew me personally before I came to live with him offered the post of the Vicar General of the diocese when I was working in Washington D.C. I accepted it because of the fact that I could do some input in the formation of this new diocese. Abp. Powathil also asked me to accept the offer. I am very thankful to Mar Jacob Angadiath for the graciousness he has shown towards me.

I have always felt confident and happy in my life as a priest. I have accepted my vocation as a priest consciously and it was my strong feeling that whatever might be my personal failures I would never fail the Lord and Savior of my life, Jesus Christ. In His presence I have always felt the greatest happiness in my life.

Retirement and Pastoral Ministry in the U.S.

Retirement and Pastoral Ministry in the U.S.

Pastoral Ministry in the U.S.

I retired from the college on March 31^st,1996.

I stayed at my room in the campus for a week and then thought of leaving for the States for a few months as I found that I had nothing really serious to do in Changnacherry . As I could not see myself doing anything there I thought of working in a parish in the US as it would give me an opportunity for more reading and speaking.

I was given the job of the Director of Higher Education but that job was a non-starter as it gave me no real opportunity to work in the field of Higher Education.

After spending a few weeks in Changanacherry and Ernakulam, I left for the Sates in 1996.I had no intention of remaining in the US for a longer period but God gave me a long life to live here for more than a decade.

I spent a couple of months in New York and then left for Florida and there stayed at St.Coleman’s church,Pompano beach, for a couple of months. Fr.Jose Kottayil was gracious enough to arrange my stay there. I enjoyed working there during the summer months. I also did enjoy preaching the homilies and I found that there was a great appreciation of my sermons. One of the priests once mentioned that I preach with great conviction.He used he expression: “There is fire in the belly.”

He was referring to the passion with which I preached.

After being there for a few months , I went to Dallas for a short visit and spent a few days with Achankunju and Laiju.

Fr.Maroor durting that time talked with the Pastor of the Visitation parish which led my stay there for more than a year. I became a North Miami resident thus.While there, I happened to meet the President of St.Thomas University and he invited me to teach at St.Thomas University. I joined the Dept. of English as an adjunct Professor and taught there for two semesters.

During that time, I got a call from the Archdiocese of Washington D.C and they invited me to work in the Archdiocese.That was another big change in my life. Although initially, I was reluctant to leave Miami, I was blessed by God to make the right decision to join the Archdiocese.

I met the Director of the Priests’ Personnel during one of my visits to D.C. and that sealed my decision to work there. I would also be able to meet so many of my former friends if I would begin my ministry there.

My stay at the Visitation church , North Miami was thus very short.It was a small parish and the rectory was also a small house .But I enjoyed my stay there even though the Pastor was not a very cordial person.

After the mass in the morning, two old ladies from the parish would wait for me to take me for the breakfast. The Pastor would also join us. It was our daily routine.

On Sundays, Mr.George Vadaparampil would take me to his house and would prepare a nice lunch for me. Later Fr.Matthew Pathalany would also join me for lunch at the house of Mr.George.

I have to mention very specially my friendship with Neil Monteiro.Neil once came to the church for the Sunday mass and wanted me to bless his new car.That started our long friendship. On holidays , he would invite me to his apartment and would prepare very lovely dinners. He would also invite his friends on such evenings.I cannot forget the love and friendship of the those dear friends from Goa.

On July 4^th , Neil ,Francis and myself went on a long ride to Jacksonville. We stayed at the rectory of Fr.Victor Narivelly. On the way back , we visited the city of St. Augustine and Cape Canarval. It was an enjoyable trip.

On free days, I would invite Francis and we would go for long rides.

In August 1997, I went to India and while I was in India, Neil and Francis drove my car to Washington D.C. and dropped my things at St .Patrick’s church, Washington D.C.

St.Patrick’s Church,Washington D.C.

Although I was a bit reluctant to accept my assignment at St.Patrick’s, later , it turned out to be one of the best rectories and places of stay. I was told by Msgr.English, that the Pastor at St.Patrick’s was Msgr.Peter Vaghi. Msgr.Vaghi was a young attorney when I was an associate pastor at St.Matthew’s Cathedral.He used to lector at my masses.

But then he gave up his job as an attorney and joined the seminary. By the time, I came to St.Patrick’s he was working as a very successful Pastor there.

Msgr.Farina who passed away recently and Fr. Paul Liston were the other priests. They were some of the great priests whom I loved and admired.I enjoyed the warmth of their love and hospitality. There were so many times when we went out for dinner. Msgr.Farina was the Director of the Pope Paul Institute of Arts.

I did work under him for a couple of months when I came to stay at St.Patrick’s while teaching a summer course at the Catholic University.

I cannot also forget Msgr.Maurice Fox who became the Pastor while I was staying there earlier. We used to call him Marty while we were all staying at St.Matthew’s. We had such fun and laughter while we were at St.Matthew’s.

Even though I thought at the time I joined St.Patrick’s that it would be a quiet parish, in fact , it turned out otherwise.

One of the attractive things at St.Patrick’s was the series of lectures that was held at noon .By the graceof God, I gave a lot of lectures on different topics, including a few on Catholic authors. It gave me the perfect occasion to do what I always wanted: to do some serious reading, writing and speaking.

Even before I left Miami for Washington, Msgr.Vaghi had asked me to give a synopsis of the lectures I would give after my arrival at St.Patrick’s.

My first series of lectures was on Catholic novelists like Graham Greene,Flannery O’Connor and Walker Percy. I also gave a talk on the poetry of Gerard Manley Hopkins.

Later I gave a series of talks on the Classics of Spirituality where I spoke on the works of St.Augustine,St.Teresa of Avila, St.John of the Cross, St. Therese of Lisieux,St.Ignatius of Loyola etc. I did also speak on the works of Thomas Merton,Henri Nouwen and Fr.De Mello.

I had to prepare heavily for those classes but I found the work of teaching very exhilarating. This was something I always wanted to do and St.Patrick's gave me the right opportunity.I have also to admit the encouragement, support and the prompting that Msgr. Vaghi gave me in this matter. As I spent my whole life time teaching English Literature, I never got much time to read books of great spiritual masters. This series of lectures helped me to read up on great spiritual writers.

The classes were attended by a great number of people.These were people who would come out from their offices for their lunch breaks. Some of the talks were given publicity by the Washington Post.

St. Patrick’s also offered me chances of meeting some of the great people of Washington. The Shrivers,Senator Moynihan,F.B.I.Director Louis Frieh etc were some of them.

St.Patrick’s also held masses for the John Carrol society as Msgr.Peter Vaghi was their chaplain. Hence those masses brought some of the politicians and lawyers to the church.

In a way my stay in Washington was a time of great internal joy and peace. I really enjoyed the beauty of priestly ministry while I was there at St. Patrick’s.

Cardinal Hickey and Cardinal McCarik were very good to me and acknowledged my ministry there with great satisfaction.

While I was at St. Patrick’s, I also did say masses for the Catholic Malayalee community of Washington D.C. Being part of both the communities was very exciting.

The Syro-Malabar community of Washington D.C. was formed at my initiative in 1979 while I was working at St.Matthew's Cathedral. Later, under the initiative of several of its future Presidents, bye-laws were established and priests who came to D.C. for studies ministered to the community as chaplains.When I left in 1981 , I handed the charge over to Fr.Antony.After my return to Washington in 1996, I helped the then Chaplain Fr.John Ayankana in his ministry for the people.When he left for India, I took upon myself the task of ministering to the community.It was while I was working for the community that Mr. Shabu Palliparampil who did an excellent work as the Director of the choir passed away. Mr. Benoy Thomas who was then the President of the Organization did a marvelous job in making various arrangements to make the funeral service well-attended.The members of the community were very generous in their financial support for the family.

I am deeply thankful to Benoy for organizing a very grand reception for me to mark my 60th birthday. Mr.Scaria Thomas who came later as the President also did organize another reception to bid me farewell when I decided to accept the post of the Vicar General and move to Chicago.

After I left Washington D.C., Fr.Matthew Punchayil took over the ministry and he is very successfully organizing different programs for the community.

Principal,S.B.College,1991-96

Principal,S.B.College,1991-96

Principal (1991-96)

Let me mention my participation in some of the major organizations in which I worked while I was working as the principal of the college.

IFCU

At the IFCU meeting in Toulouse, France, in 1991, I was elected a member of the Executive Council as a representative from Asia. It was decided at the first meeting of the Executive that their next meeting should be held in India. As I had no experience of their previous meetings, I thought that I would get the help of Fr.Kottaram, the former Principal of Mar Ivanios and a former member of the Executive. But his sudden passing away put all the responsibility of holding the International Conference on my shoulders.

Even though Bangalore and Cochin were considered as sites for the meeting, in the end I favored to have the meeting in Changnacherry itself as it would then give the participants an idea of the vibrancy of the Catholic faith in Kerala.

I had the meeting arranged on the third floor of the newly completed Research building. Our staff helped a lot in getting the place ready for the meeting.

The inaugural session was held at the Kavukattu Hall and a lot of the principals, managers and teachers from Kerala were present at the meeting. His Eminence Cardinal Padiyara, Abp.Gregorios, the Speaker of the Kerala Assembly, Abp.Powthil along with president of the IFCU, Fr.Duttari(who has been later appointed the Bishop of Quito,Equador) addressed the gathering.

The front of the Hall was decked with flag posts carrying the flags of the participant countries. The president of Notre Dame, Fr.Malloy, the Presidents of various Catholic Universities in South America, Japan , Indonesia, the USA were present at the Conference. Some of them were put up in hotels in Changanacherry and the rest were put up at Kottayam.

The Deepika was kind enough to publish a supplement for the Conference.

The delegates were taken for a boat ride though Kuttanand lakes and later they were taken to Kurisumala Asharam. On the way back, they visited St.Alphonsa’s tomb at Bharanaganam.

The municipality of Chanaganacherry and the Bishop’s house, Palai arranged a special reception for the participants. The Assumption college arranged an open dinner reception for the guests. Fr.Malloy addressed the students of the Assumption college.

It was a good gathering and all left with great feelings of appreciation. Later, addressing the presidents of Catholic universities in the U.S, Fr.Malloy remarked that the going to Kerala was like going to Ireland as the visit revealed to him the depth and strength of the Catholic faith in Kerala.

I am very grateful to many members of the staff for their help in coordinating many events of the meetings. I have to mention specially Mr.Jose, a member of the non-teaching staff, Prof.Ruble Raj,Prof.George Thomas,Prof.Raju Kuttickal,Prof.George Sebastian , the priests on the faculty etc for their great help in organizing a meeting of this kind.

As a member of the Executive Council of the IFCU, I was invited to attend their meetings in Lisbon,Quito and at Notre Dame.

While at Quito, we could visit many of the old churches in Quito whose ceilings were decked with gold which were built in the 16^th C. When I was looking at the marvelous gold ceiling of one of the churches in Quito, Fr.Malloy, the President of the Notre Dame University remarked to me : “ Father George: you have churches going back to early Christian centuries.” That was an acknowledgment of the Apostolic origin of the Christian faith in Kerala which he came to understand during his visit to Kerala.

While in Quito, we did visit some of the Indian villages and the small churches around which the houses of the villagers were built. One of the surprising things at one of the fairs in the villages was that when we asked for the prices of some of the village made clothes, one of the girls took out a calculator form her pocket and told us the price in dollars. That showed how technology had entered the lives in very remote villages.

While in Lisbon, we were able to make a pilgrimage to Fatima which was one of my unfulfilled dreams. I wanted to visit Fatima during my European tour while on my vacation to Europe during the days when I was pursuing my doctoral studies in the US in the late 70s.I could not do it because I was prevented from passing through Spain at the border from France as I did have not have the transit visa to pass through Spain. Hence , I felt really happy during my stay in Lisbon.

We stayed in a beautiful hotel from where we went to the Catholic University every day for the meetings. We also visited some of the old churches in Lisbon like Fort St.George monastery etc. We were invited for a reception at the family home of of the Aux.Bishopp of Lisbon who was the Rector of the Catholic University of Lisbon. It was in a village but the dinner was very lavish. His whole family was there to greet us.

The General Assembly of the IFCU at Notre Dame was a great success .In fact it was at the meeting at Changanacherry that the venue of the Assembly was changed from Lebanon to Notre Dame. I was in a way responsible in helping Notre Dame University becoming the venue of the meeting.At the conclusion of the meeting, Fr.Malloy, the President of the Notre Dame praised the conciliatory skills that I employed during the sessions.

Fr.Malloy showed his appreciation of my interventions later by asking me to be the main celebrant of the Eucharistic celebrations in one of the main days .I did not realize then that I was going to be a main celebrant along with Cardinals ,Bishops and rectors. I was not prepared before hand for a great sermon. Only after reaching there and looking at the program , did I realize that that it was going to be a great celebration. God gave the confidence to do everything perfectly. I started my homily with a few lines from Shakespeare’s Macbeth: “Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased…”I knew then with my literature background that it would prove to be a great introduction! It really helped me to gather my thoughts on the passage from the Gospel. I also mentioned the inquiry I received from the young man whom I met in one of my train trips. He was an MIT product .He told me that he was searching for spiritual meanings in life and wanted to know what the distinctive feature of Christianity was.

After all these trips I would stop in Washington D.C. to teach a summer course in Comparative literature at the Catholic University of America.

I kept my contact with the US and the Catholic University because of the advice and help of Dr.Nemionau ,one of my Professors at C.U who did not want me to lose my Green Card status.

What a beautiful piece of advice he gave me. Otherwise, I would have to go for visa for every trip I made to the U.S.

My participation In IFCU got me a lot of friends internationally. I used the occasion to plead for more active collaboration between the Catholic Universities in the developed world and those in the under developed countries.

AIACHE

At the triennial meeting of the AIACHE at Bangalore in 1993, I was elected the President of the Association. Non-Catholic and Catholics were elected presidents alternatively. I was elected at a time when it was the turn of the Catholics. Working as the President of AIACHE gave me a great opportunity to interact with the principals of the Christian colleges in India and also enabled me to be part of the team to implement various policies that would improve the academic standards of our colleges .It was during that time that we were able to meet the President of India ,Dr.Shankar Dayal Sharma and apprise him of the various dangers involved in some of the bills before the parliament of India concerning the minorities.

The executive meetings of the AIIACHE were held in different parts of India which helped us to come into close contact with the working of the best colleges in India.

Principal’s Council of Kerala

In 19993 , I was elected the President of the Principals' Council of the Private colleges of Kerala. As the President of the Principals' Council, I was able to work in close collaboration with the Principals of Kerala in pleading for changes for the improvement of higher education in Kerala.

Secretary of the Inter-Church Council of Kerala and KCBC

As the Secretary of the KCBC Education commission , working with Abp.Powathil, I was able to formulate the educational policies of the Catholic Church in Kerala in the area of education. We had to oppose several times the policies of the Govt. when they were infringing on the Constitutional rights of the minorities.

The Inter-Church council was a wider body incorporating all the Christina denominations, formulating the policies in the area of education in Kerala. Under the auspices of the Inter-Church Council several large gatherings of the public were held to highlight the importance of protecting the rights of the minorities in the field of education.

I was also working as a research guide for doctrinal candidates in English Literature.Fr.Joseph Vattakalam and Prof.C.E.Thomas worked towards their Ph.D. under my guidance.

I was very determined to improve the academic standards of our students. S.B. college, being one of the top colleges in the country attracted a large number of very bright students from all across the state of Kerala.One of my immediate tasks was keeping the students academically high while they were at college.

After discussions with the staff, we organized an Academic Excellence Program where all the students coming with more than 90% of marks were invited to join to improve their knowledge in science subjects. The teachers who volunteered to teach came early in the morning for special classes for the students. I could see the change in the academic atmosphere right away.In the Pre-degree exam that came after the introduction of the course, our college was declared the first in the colleges under Mahatma Gandhi University for having got the highest number of first classes.

One of the memorable events in the first years of my Principalship was the organizing of a science exhibition and an arts festival in order to collect funds for the construction of a new building to accommodate new courses that would be forthcoming in the coming years.

I knew then that with the changes happening in the country, this would be most probably the last science exhibition that would be organized under the auspices of the college. I was very intimately involved in the organization of a previous Science Exhibition when Fr.Maroor was the Principal. I did not want to lose that experience.

The Science Exhibition turned out to be a huge success. With thousands of high school and college students visiting the campus, the days became very busy. It continued for two weeks. A lot of students and the faculty were involved in the organization of the Exhibition. Within those two weeks thousands of visitors came to the campus. The media too gave enough publicity.

The inauguration of the Exhibition was done by Sri. Patil, the Honorable speaker of the Lok Sabha. He praised the students for their sense of discipline and decorum.

The campus was a beehive of activity in those days.

The Arts Festival was also a great success. Prof.Scaria Zacharia took the initiative of organizing all the cultural events and meetings. Many writers and authors were invited for different functions.

With the money collected through the science exhibition, we were able to garner the seed money for the construction of a new building. My intention was also to start hotel management courses in the new building.

Along with the improvements of the academic atmosphere of the college, I was also interested in encouraging the artistic and athletic talents of our students.

I encouraged the Director of the Athletics Department to scout talented students to build up our athletic teams. Within no time we were able to become the first in all the athletic competitions of the University. Our students thus did well in athletics, games as well as in studies.

We supported the activities of the Arts club and they were able to compete well in the artistic and cultural competitions conducted under the auspices of the University.

So when the Government decided to award a prize for the best college in the state, it came to St. Berchmans’ college. Thus, the prestigious Shankar Award was given twice to the college.

The college did also start many study centers like the Durrell Centere, Kamala Das Study Centre etc and encouraged the interactions with literary authors and scholars.

It was during this time that the foundation stone for Prof.Ulahannan Mappila Center for research was established. Dr. Joshy was responsible in starting the center and developing it.

The granting of MBA to the college was one of the crowning moments in this saga of academic improvements of the college.Raja Giri college and S.B.college were the only two colleges in Kerala that were allowed to start MBA first in the state. The newly constructed building was immediately put to use for the M.B. A and thus was born the Bechmans’ Institute of Management. It was during this time that the Berchmans’ Institute of computer studies was established.

All the Post Graduate students were encouraged to take a course in computer applications.

Even before the starting of the M.B.A, the college did start a diploma course in management.

Another important development during this period was the publication of a research journal known as the SB Academic Review. The starting of the Review helped the teachers to publish their research articles. It also helped to bring in more UGC grants to the college. The Review was also supported initially by the AIACHE.

It was also possible to start the publication of the college bulletins and to establish a language lab for the development of the communication of our students in English language.

Our students were also placed in the first ranks in many subjects at the University exams.

The completion of the Research Center which was started during the Principalship of Rev.Dr.Joseph Maroor was another major event.The research Center was one of its kind in the history of the affiliated colleges in India.

We were able to start research programs in many science and arts subjects.

In short during the five years of my work as the Principal of the college, I was able to accomplish a lot in the academic and extra curricular well-being of the college with the grace of God.

The Christian atmosphere of the college was also maintained well at the college There was always a greater sensitivity to the needs of the poor and needy. The college took care of the housing for the poor hostel employees of the college. It gave free noon lunches for poor students. It was also happy to help poor students who could not afford to pay the fees.

The needs of those who worked for the college were always attended to. Even now after more than 15 years after I left the college, some of the poor workers write to me for help.

We had also regular faith and morals classes for the students of the college. When many of our Catholic colleges dropped such courses, I was very particular to retain them as it sustained our Catholic identity. There were also daily masses at the college chapel which was attended by students staying at the hostels.

We had an annual Adoration day for which students and the staff would come batch by batch.

Every year the academic year started with a mass of the Holy Spirit.

During the five years, I was the Principal, annual retreats for the staff as well as the students were held regularly.

I am really thankful to God for having given me the opportunity to function so well as the Principal of the college.

The 25^th anniversary of my ordination was also held at the college. The anniversary meeting was presided over by Alexander Mar Thoma Metropolitan.

I bade farewell to the college on March 31^st,1996.It was at the peak of my career that I left the college at the retirement age of 55.

Washington D.C. and Return to India

Thursday, May 5, 2011

St.Matthew's Cathedral and Return to India

American Experience(1981)-2

St .Matthew’s Cathedral arranged a farewell party for me as I was leaving for India in December 1981.My leave from the college would be over by the end of December and hence I had to join the college before the end of Dec.81.They asked me to invite those who would I like to come for the dinner. The University President Dr.Pellegrino, the members of the Dissertation committee, Dr.Sendry, the Chairman of the Dept. Of English, Mrs.Anne Fuselli and Donna Fuselli ,Barbara Murphy and a few families from the Indian community were invited. It was a great dinner. The President of the University offered to hold a special convocation for me but later it was found out that it could not be held.

While I was in D.C. I went on a European tour, traveling through many of the major countries of Europe. Using a Eurail pass, I crisscrossed Europe for two weeks. Paris,Lourdes,Lisieux,Geneva, Munich etc were covered during this trip. For a week , I stayed with my cousin,Sr.Lillis at their convent near Munich.

On a vacation to India, I visited Rome and Assissi. During the trip to Rome, I had the chance to visit with Cardinal Baum who was the former Archbishop of Washington D.C. at his office in the Vatican. All the priests from Changanacherry who were studying in Rome at that time helped me during this trip and accompanied me on different days.

While in D.C. I did organize the Syro-Malabar community and began to celebrate masses for them at St.Matthew’s Cathedral.What was started then in an incipient form later grew into the Greater Washington Catholic community.

My years at St.Matthew’s Cathedral were some of the best years in my priestly life.There were none of us priests living at the rectory.There was a great sense of fraternity and lovre among the preists. There was great fun and laughter when we met.No frayed tempers and no gossips.Every one was sensitive to the needs of others.I can not forget the laughter and funny remarks of Msgr.Gerhardt and Fr Marty.He w as the PRO of the Diocese and was in charge of the communications at the time of the visit of the holy Father.

S.B.College(1981)

Immediately after my return from the States, I joined the college and started teaching in the Dept.of English. In the first few months after my return , the teaching assignments were very light.I had to forget my days in Washington and resume life as if nothing had happened .I got a small room with bare furniture as my living space and I started my new life from there.

After a few months, I was appointed the Warden of Sahrudaya(Sacred Heart) Hostel which was the largest hostel with more than 200 students. The hostel atmosphere had vastly changed from the time I was there five years ago. Students had become very unruly. It was hard in the first few months to keep them under control. I had to give up my nice and gentle ways of behavior that I acquired in the Sates and had to go back to rigid disciplinary methods would that involve suspensions, dismissals, and scolding etc.

That kind of life based on the enforcement of disciplinary regulations was a great drag on some one who came back after years of study in the U.S.

The wardenship at the hostel put a stop to any attempt in writing articles or doing research. I took it as my duty assigned by the Lord through my superiors.

I was appointed the Chaplain to the AICUF (All India Catholic University Federation) unit of the college. It was not something that I liked at that period in my life. I took it up as there was no one else interested in that ministry. Before going to the States, I would have preferred that ministry because I was young and I could easily move with the students. Still, after taking it up, I worked with the students and were actively involved in organizing different programs for the AICUF.

When I returned from the States, I had to work under a new administration with Fr.Mathew Pulikaparampil as the Principal. He was gracious to me and we went for walks together in the evenings. There were only a few more years for his retirement.

He was a generous and kind-hearted person.

Vice Principal(1985):

It was in March, 1985 that Fr. Mathew Pulikaprampil retired as the Principal. Rev.Dr.Jospeh Maroor was appointed the Principal and I was appointed the Vice-Principal.I was given the appointment a couple of months earlier even before it was made officially public by Fr.Joseph Karimpallil who was the Vicar General at that time. He was very good to me and told me privately that he was going to appoint me the Vice-Principal. That single decision on the part of Fr. Joseph Karimpalil changed a lot in my life and made me worthy of several other great assignments in my life.

I am deeply grateful to him for the love and regard he had shown towards me as well as to Fr.Maroor. I can never forget my debt to him.Fr.Maroor and myself later visited him when he was working as the Vicar of St.George’s Church, Edathua.

My years as the Vice principal, working along with Fr.Maroor were some of the happiest years spent on the Campus. Many showed great appreciation and regards for both of us as both of us received our doctoral education outside India.

One of the great moments in our administration was the celebration of the Silver Jubilee of many of the post graduate courses at S.B. We wanted to celebrate it with real gusto and publicity as S.B.College deserved such a recognition.

An Arts Festival and a Science Exhibition were planned. We decided to invite the President of India to inaugurate the Jubilee. Both of us went by train to New Delhi to invite the President Mr.Zail Singh.Prof.P.J.Kurian M.P and Mr.M.M.Jacob ,the Deputy Chairman of the Rajya Sbha helped us in this matter. Prof.P.J.Kurian came with us to the Rashtra Pathy Bhavan.We met the President and he readily consented to do the inauguration. Immediately after coming from the Rashtrapathy Bahavn, we called Dr.K.C.Joseph M.L.A. to get the Sate Government’s sanction .Mr. Joseph right away met the Chief Minister and got the concurrence of the State Government for the visit of the President.The news was given to the papers and before we reached Changnacherry and the news of the visit of the President ‘s visit became known to all before we reached the college.

From that time onwards, things began to take a very swift and busy turn. A lot of committees were formed for the exhibition as well as for the visit of the President.

The visit of the President was a historic moment in Changancherry. The whole town was filled with people because of their interest in seeing the President arriving at the town.

We had our small problems in arranging the reception as some teachers somehow did not fee well honored in the reception line.

As a whole, it went well and a lot of teachers worked hard to make the visit as well as the Exhibition and the Arts Festival a success.

To commemorate the Jubilee, we decided to construct a research center which was the first of its kind in a college in Kerala.We also got many of our Departments recognized as research centers for the Gandhiji Univversity. We tried to appoint teachers with Ph.D.qualifications in our various departments.

I was also simultaneously holding the posts of the bursar and the warden of the hostel along with my work as the vice Principal and Professor of English.

Those were the years when I was fully occupied with my work in the college campus.

When I reached room, after the day’s work in the college, it was another full time job again because of my work as the Warden of the hostel.

As there were many students belonging to different lasses, there were always occasions of conflicts, disputes,disciplinary problems etc.

When I look back, I am totally surprised to find how it was possible to do all these things together.

I had with me first Fr.Matthew Punchayil and later Fr.Jose Kottayil to help me as associate wardens of the hostel. We managed to hold the students under our control and offer them guidance.

The Evening Prayer time with the students was an important moment in the daily life of the hostel.

When I was appointed the Vice Principal, the students held a congratulatory meeting in the dining hall at which the Principal was also present.

Fr.Matthew Punchayil left for higher studies in the U.S. and Fr.Jose Kottayil came in his place.Later,Fr. Jose Kottayil too would leave for the States for studies.

It was when I was the Bursar that we had the college campus fully secured by walls and fences.More watchmen were appointed at the entry gates of the college.

The Research Center was the crowning achievement of the period.

At this time , I was also functioning as the Secretary of the Kerala Bishops’ Commission for Education as per the request of Abp.Powathil.

While working as the Secretary of this commission, I was instrumental in helping the Archbishop to form the Inter-Church Council for Education.

As the Secretary of the Inter-Church Council for Education, I got very much involved in the fight for protecting the rights of the Minorities in discussions with the State Govt. of Kerala.

The Inter-Church Council for Education as the official representative body of all the Christian denominations in the field of education became a powerful force in Kerala in unifying the voice of the Church in the formulation of the educational policies of the Church.

Principal(1991-96)

I was appointed the Principal on 1991 .I was in Alleppey and Fr. Maroor called me to say that the Archbishop wanted to see me. I went straight to the Abp’s house and there after a brief conversation, the Abp. handed me the appointment order as the Principal of the college.

It was a big turning point in my life as it opened so many avenues for me to work and enabled me to develop my administrative skills.

The first year was spent in consolidating all the different achievements of the college in various areas.My dream was to make the college the best in every respect in the academic as well as in the athletic and artistic fields.

A Science improvement program was initiated to help the top students to achieve better and remedial courses were started for the low achievers.The result was seen immediately in the University examinations as the College began to be mentioned as the topmost college which has placed the highest number of the students in the first place among the colleges under the University.

It was during this time that the college was made a full member of the Federation of the Catholic Universities(IFCU). I went with Fr.Kottaram of the Ivanios college to attend the annual meeting of the IFCU at Toulous in France.

Traveling with Kottaram was an enjoyable experience.We stayed in the House of the Parish Foreign Mission Society in Parish for a few days and then spent a few days at the house of Mr.Kattoor and his family.It was while staying with them that we went to Lourdes.It was my second visit.It was a one day trip by train.When we came back we gave rosaries and devotional medals to the children of Kattoor.As the family was not practicing their faith in a formal way, it was a first experience for the children with the symbols of the faith.Fr.Kottaram then blessed the house.

The Conference of the IFCU was held at a church where St.Thomas Aquinas was buried.All the delegates were accommodated at the University hostels nearby.At the meeting, I was elected as an Asian representative to the Executive Council of the IFCU.At the first Executive Council of the IFCU after the election, they wanted the next Executive Council to be held in India.The responsibility for holding the meting fell on me.I thought then that with the help of Fr.Kottaram since he retired from the Principalship, it would be easier for me to make all arrangements for the meeting.

Sad to say, Dr.Kottaram passed away soon after that in a tragic car accident.I went to the Kottayam medical college to accompany his body to Kottarakara where he was working as the Vicar.

Lecturer,S.B.College

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Teaching at S.B.College: Lecturer

Lecturer:

As per the direction of Msgr.L.J.Chittoor who was the administrator of the Diocese, I was appointed a lecturer in the Dept.of English. Rev.Dr.Antony Kurialacherry took charge as the Principal of the college in 1970.He is the one who appointed me to the college.

Prof.V.J.Augustine was very gracious to me and gave me the opportunity to teach in M.A.classes right away which he did not give to many of the other lecturers who were senior to me in the Dept.

In my first year as a lecturer, I was sent as a delegate along with Prof.V.S.Joseph to participate in a National Conference on American Literature organized by the American Embassy.I presented a paper on D.H.Lawrence.The participation in the conference made me enthusiastic to go for research in the U.S.

Another memorable thing is that we formed a Brains Trust under the auspices of the Dept. of English for faculty improvement. I presented a paper on "The Impersonal Theory of T.S.Eliot."

After a couple of years of teaching, in 1973, I was appointed the warden of St. Joseph’s hostel which increased my public role in the life of the college.The role as the warden gave me more opportunities to work with the students on various levels .Most of the students in the hostel were were very studious .I was happy that I got a chance to get involved in their lives and to help them to get motivated not only in their studies but in other extracurricular activities.

An unforgettable incident that happened in 1976 was the sudden and accidental death of Fr.James Valiaparampil.We were ordained together and did our postgraduate studies at the same time at S.B. . We also joined the college in the same year.He was one of my close friends as well as a great mentor.Even though we were classmates,he was two years older .We were wardens of neighboring hostels.While I was at St.Joseph’s, he was at St.Thomas’.On March 13,1976,Fr.James Valiaparampil went with his colleagues in the Dept.of Chemistry on a boat tour.I saw him waving his hand towards me in the morning as he was leaving for the tour .It was in March 1976 that Fr.James passed away.The funeral was attended by a large crowd.He was loved by all.H always was ready to help any one who asked him for assistance. He was a good friend of mine and I miss him sorely in my life.

In 1976, I got permission from the Archbishop to go for higher studies in the U.S.I applied to several Universities.Indiana State University offered me teaching assistance. I did then apply for a visa . I went to Madras for the visa after the Christmas celebrations in the hostel.I was able to get the visa and when I came back, I told my students after the night prayer about my decision to leave them and proceed to the States.I saw most of them crying . I was also sad in the sense that I won’t be able to see many of them in my life. They would all drift into different walks of life. Life’s journey would take them to different places. I got a shadow of that experience while I was returning from Madras after securing the visa and met some of our students at the Ernakulam bus station on my way to Changanacherry. They were the members of the Basket Ball team leaving for some college for the match. A good number of the players in the team was from my hostel.When I told them that I was returning form Madras with a visa for the States, they too broke down.

Everything moved fast and I was leaving India immediately after Christmas.I had to join the course at the Indiana State in the first week of Jan.

The hostel honored me with a farewell meeting at the Archbishop Kavykattu Hall.The parents were also there and some of them spoke at the meeting.My mother , brothers and all the students came to the airport.The students came in a bus.Fr.Maroor took pictures of the departures at the college as well as at the airport .

The fathers who were teaching in the college were very warm and friendly to me.The Principal,Rev.Dr.Antony Kurialacherry had written several reference letters for me to different Universities.

I also remember a trip that I had with him when he invited me to accompany him on a trip to Madras by car from Changancherry.He had tremendous confidence and courage.He decided on constructing some new buildings on the college campus—a new library ,a big Auditorium honoring the late Archbishop Mar Matthew Kavukatt and a staff hostel.The problem was the shortage of cement.Fr.Kurialacherry wanted to go to the office of the cement controller in Madras.That is why he wanted to go to Madras.I was just a fresh appointee at the college.But he wanted someone to go with him.We went to the office and I was waiting outside as he went in.But after an hour he came out beaming with joy.During the conversation, it happened that they found out that they were both students of the Loyola college, Madras. Permit for the needed bags of cement was granted immediately Fr.Kurialacherry got what he had asked for.Wagon loads of cement bags came to Changanacherry at a low price.

I enjoyed teaching.I was staying at the Staff Quarters with other bachelor lecturers as companions.After the class, we used to play badminton.It was a very fun time.We were back again in the court like young college students.Those who would like to play would wait for their chance.Those who came first after the evening tea break were the first to enter the court.Fr.Enas who later became the Principal of St.Thomas College,Palai was a very good player.In one of the annual competitions , my team with prof.T.J.Kurian won the prize.

In my first year of teaching, I received the Proficiency prize and the special award for my MA.Final Exams at the college Day celebrations.All my students clapped very heartily and cheerfully when I got on to the stage to receive the prize.

It was said by Fr.Mutttath who was then in Malayalam B.A class that Prof.Ulahannan Mappila remarked very positively about my teaching in his remarks to them as he got a chance to observe one of my first classes.

Prof.Ulahanna Mappila was my teacher while I was an undergraduate student at S.B.He had always treated me with great fondness.

Another remarkable thing was that I was appointed the Managing Editor of the college magazine and that gave me a lot of interaction with the teachers and students.I was also appointed the Managing Editor of the college souvenir published in 1973.The editing and the publishing of the souvenir gave me ample opportunity to work with the senior Professors in the various departments of the college.Prof.Ulahanna Mappila wrote a superb history of the college.That history is still a land mark.At that time many said that it was more on Prof. Mappila than on the college.But I did realize the importance of his writing and allowed it for publication without making any changes in it.

For the funds for the publication , I went with Profs.K.V.Joseph and A.E.Augustine to several firms in Cochin.We were successful in garnering some amount through advertisements.

It was Fr.Kurialacherry who changed the academic map of the college by erecting a big auditorium known as the Kavukattu Hall,the four storied Library and a Staff Quarters with chapel and a dining hall.He was a visionary and an inspiring presence on the campus.I was privileged to work with him and it gave me a lot of confidence.

M.A. Student

Saturday, August 7, 2010
My Life at the College as an M.A.Student

I stayed at the Staff Quarters.Prof.V.J.Augustine was the Head of the Dept. He took a special interest in me and encouraged me to do my best in studies. it was his encouragement that enabled me to do well in exams. i was placed in the fourth Rank at the Kerala University exam.

It was while I was in the first year of M.A. that Archbishop Kavukatt passed away. While I was about to finish the mass in the private chapel I was told about the demise of the Archbishop.Myself and Fr.James Valiaparampil went to to the Archbishop’s house right away after the mass. In those days , fans were very few at the Bishop’s house.Our two table fans were given to be used there at the hall where the body was lying in state.

The demise of the Archbishop was a sad moment in my life. Even though I never had any close interaction with him except on formal occasions, I knew that he cared about me and that he knew me well. He allowed me to go for graduate studies and told me even before I started the course that I would be appointed in the Dept. of English. He changed the whole course of my life. What a gifted and saintly person he was. All through my stay in the United States for my doctoral studies, I kept his picture in the Bible I was using for daily reading and reflections.
His voice and his words are still unforgettably stamped in my mind. At one of the meetings after the Liberation struggle, he said the following words: " Hate communism but don't hate communists." It was the ideology that should be resisted and not the people. He was the one who gave very strong leadership for the historic Liberation struggle against the communists in Kerala.When the communists were determined to pass their notorious Education Bill, the Archbishop ordered all the schools to be closed and not to be reopened after the summer vacation.

At another meeting in the Kallarakal hall, quoting from Tennyson and said: " It is better to have loved and lost and never to have loved at all."

I was one of the coffin-bearers in the funeral procession when his body was taken for the funeral.I feel privileged and happy that he was the one who ordained me and sent me for higher studies. All that I did as a preist was because of the initial start he gave me in my life.

Tour:

After the viva for the M.A., some of us priests went on an All India trip.Fr.James Valiaparampil,Fr.Antony Kadavil and Fr.Thomas Mattappally were in the group.We went straight away to Calcutta and stayed at St.Xavier's college.From there, we proceeded to Mother Teresa’s convent .We visited the places in Kalighat where the old and sick were nursed by the sisters as well as to the place where the abandoned children were taken care of.Mother Teresa was not there.We talked with some of the sisters .Some were from Changnacherry.We met a young foreign-born sister.We asked her how it came about that she joined the convent.She told us her story of meeting Mother Teresa at the Eucharistic congress in Bombay when she came to attend it a tourist from Germany.At a lunch hosted by the Archbishop of Bombay, she was sitting opposite Mother Teresa.During the lunch, the Mother was looking at her.After the lunch, she asked her why she was looking at her.Mother Teresa then told her that if she would join her convent , she would give her a sari.She left for Germany after the Eucharistic Congress but then came back and joined the convent.She was the first non-Indian to join the Congregation of Mother Teresa.

During that trip, we visited Darjeeling, Kurseong etc.The visit to some place in Darjeeling to see the Sun rise early in the morning around 3a.m. was unforgettable. We did also travel to Kalinpong in Sikkim.

From there ,we returned to Kerala through Nagpur.At Nagpur, we stayed at St.Charles' Seminary and also visited Raipur.At Raipur, the German Bishop himself came to the railway station with his jeep to pick us up.We stayed at the Bishop’s house.At night, we slept outside as it was very hot inside.We visited Fr.Mattappally’s brother who was a pastor in a nearby parish.

When I came back from the trip, I heard that one of my friends,Mr.Joe Tharakan had passed away.Jose was supposed to leave for the States the week before.It was a tragic piece of news.It was conveyed to me by Mr.Cherian who was a gardener then.Later Cherian worked at the college office.